A Lovehead

Don't you just hate the pain love can cause. It just rips through you like a knife. It can drive someone to a point of insanity. It is single handedly the greatest and the worst emotion of all. If not under control, you can be at the will of love and do things without thinking twice. It can make someone's life enjoyable, but it also has the power to destroy a person's world in an instant. It causes more people pain than pleasure. Let me ask you these questions:

So why would one want to seek such a thing?
Would the world be a better place without it?

Personally, I hate this emotion, but then again it is a drug. Once you have a taste of it, you will either reject it or like most of society you will fall victim to its addictive strangle holds which overtake the mind in its entirety. It will make you do ANYTHING to find it. Some try to hold back their urges, but people like myself get engulfed in it. I have a very addictive personality. I also have a very strong will at the same time, but the one thing I can not hold back is my emotions. I try as I might, but they will always come out. Sometimes they come out in the wrong way. Sometimes I do things without using logic. When love comes out, it seems like my brain doesn't exist. Only my foolish heart leads the way. I have a very big heart when it comes to caring about others, especially the ones I love. I will do absolutely anything for that one person. She has complete control over my heart. I have no will when it comes to her. My one and only goal is to make her happy at any cost. It does not matter if it causes me misery. If it makes her happy, I will do it. I will go wherever I need to and do whatever it takes to cause the slightest amount of joy. I would give up anything. I am a hopeless romantic whose only dream is to live a happy life with that one person I care about. I am the kind of person that will be happy no matter where I am as long as I am happy with my family. I want a wife and kid(s). But enough about me and what i want. I'm telling this to all of you because I want you to know how dangerous this emotion can be. Many have died over it. It has ruined many lives. It causes insanity and anger. It causes anguish and depression. It is not nice by any means. To those few that have learned to live on the good side of it, it still causes pain. Love never ends. Once you lose that one that you TRULY love, you will be torn and changed for the rest of your life. You may learn to bury it under everything, but it doesn't mean that it isn't there. I personally can't hide it. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I highly advise that you don't rush into love too soon. Then again, no one can control who they love. We are all at the mercy of the will of love. Just cherish every moment you spend with that special someone because tomorrow they may not be there for you to tell them you love them. Back to my original questions. I think everyone seeks it, look for it in the pursuit of happiness. I also don't think the world would be better without it. I think it is what makes the world go round. It makes things in life unpredictable. The world would be too plain without it. Trust me it causes plenty of pain. But for that tiny ounce of happiness, I think it is well worth it.

C.D. Bankey

Is it real?

Well this is my first blog. I know you as a reader may not know anything about me, but I can guarantee you have met someone like me- a unique person fallen victim to the same thing that has happened to many. I am not a complicated person, although my personality may be the most complex one has ever seen. A mixture of compassion with a competitive streak and love for a good challenge. Now i face the most challenging obstacle yet to come. One that can make a person be who they truly are. One that can break a person's spirit to the point where suicide is almost inept. One that can cause the greatest joy in any one individual's particular life time. Majority of people aren't accustomed to it. Some may not even realize what it really is. It is the most complex of all human emotions. It can cause someone to do things that he or she is not normally capable of accomplishing. It is the motive that fuels everyone's life. It is called "love". "Love" is truly an overused cliche. It has no meaning of today's society. It has been watered down by generations and generations of lies, manipulation and deception. It has become the word that everyone fears to hear. Yet after all the pain it has caused to many, it can be the warmth of someone's fire to cause euphoric state of being. Sometimes its just something that is understood to be said. It truly does not have any meaning. There is not a word that can capture the complete essence of this strongest of emotions. Unconditional love is something that can not be put into words. Its an expression. It can be shown with the smallest of things. It can be as simple as remembering what someone was saying a few months ago. It can also be as easy as "Good Morning" to the person you care most about. Not one thing can define love. It has too many shapes and forms to be categorized as one particular thing. It is one of the greatest of mysteries. Many question if it is real. Many believe that they understand it. It can be one of the hardest things to determine whether one may have or not. Just because one does all these small things, it does not mean that it is love. It must be done out of instinct and compassion. If there is no meaning behind it, then who may judge whether its real or not? Only you can determine whether you truly mean it or not. Do not be afraid of it, as most people are. Fear is what drives us to do the things instinctively. It is completely natural. It is built into our human genome. We can not decide when we fear things or not, but we are plenty able and aware of our own feelings deep inside our own souls causing us to determine our reactions. Many also believe that the heart has its own mind. I know I am one of those people. Most do not realize that sometimes what one wants may sacrifice something meaningful to him or her. It is completely alright to think logically and do what you "want", but I will guarantee that your heart will lead you in the right direction. You will end up on a path of life that can only be generated once. That path is called "fate", "destiny", "faith", "belief" and sometimes "love". But the question I would like to pose to you is: Is it real? or just a false pretense? I'll let you be the judge.

C.D. Bankey